Player: hi One-Eyed Joe: Ah, the brave adventurer who sought to destroy the evil crystal down there. Have you been successful? Player: name One-Eyed Joe: I’m One-Eyed Joe. From Josephina, got that? And I regard this eye patch as a personal feature of beauty! Player: job One-Eyed Joe: I’m a pirate. Normally I’m sailing the seas, boarding other ships and gathering treasures. But at the moment my captain graciously assigned me to watch this cursed entrance. Player: cursed One-Eyed Joe: As for myself I haven’t been down there. But I heard some disturbing rumours. In these caves are wonderful crystal formations. Some more poetically inclined fellows call them the crystal gardens. … One-Eyed Joe: At first glance it seems to be a beautiful – and precious – surrounding. But in truth, deep down in these caverns exists an old evil. Want to hear more? Player: crystal gardens / sounds One-Eyed Joe: These caves are incredibly beautiful, crystals in vibrant colours grow there like exotic flowers. There are more than a few captains who send down their men in order to quarry the precious crystals. … One-Eyed Joe: But there are few volunteers. Often the crystal gatherers disappear and are never seen again. Other poor fellows then meet their former shipmates in the form of ghosts or skeletons. It’s a cursed area, something evil is down there! Player: crystals One-Eyed Joe: In my humble opinion a pirate should win a fortune by boarding ships, not by crawling through caves and tunnels. But who am I to bring into question the captain’s decision. All I know is that they sell the crystals at a high price. … One-Eyed Joe: A certain amount of the crystals is ground to crystal dust with a special kind of mill. Don’t ask me why. Some kind of magical component perhaps that they sell to mages and sorcerers. Player: rumours / news One-Eyed Joe: There is something evil in the crystal caves down there. A cursed artefact or something. Player: quest / mission / task One-Eyed Joe: Ah, the brave adventurer who sought to destroy the evil crystal down there. Have you been successful? Player: no One-Eyed Joe: Too bad. Player: protect ears One-Eyed Joe: Protect your ears? Hmm … Wasn’t there some fabulous seafarer who used wax or something to plug his ears? There was a story about horrible bird-women or something …? No, sounds like hogwash, doesn’t it. Player: time One-Eyed Joe: It’s exactly 9:48 am. Player: bye One-Eyed Joe: Bye.